This Is Your Captain Speaking...

"Hello travellers, I hope you are enjoying your flight from Spain to Graz, Austria. This is your Captain speaking, just wanted to let you know that I've HAD IT WITH THE MOTHER-F**CKING HAMSTER ON THIS MOTHER-F**CKING PLANE!!!...As a result, we will be diverting to Innsbruck, where we will be debarking. This plane will not be able to fly anywhere until a Hollywood film crew arrives to make a blockbuster motion picture (sequel), starring Samuel L. Jackson, who will exhibit bravery and instill much excitement aboard this soon-to-be grounded aircraft as he searches for and destroys (violently, no doubt) the MOTHER-F**CKING HAMSTER ON THIS MOTHER-F**CKING PLANE!!!...Thank you. Enjoy your stay in Innsbruck, and we hope you find an alternate, non-hamster-infested mode of transport back home to Graz."