Tip For Criminals

The main problem with criminals is that the vast majority turn to a life of crime, when all other career paths are out of reach. This is often because they are stupid. The fact that they are stupid often goes on to pose significant challenges in their aforementioned career path.

So, as a public service to all the twenty-something fourth-graders out there, I present the following tip.

When you find it necessaary to jump into the back seat of someone's car and make them drive off to some other location where you will relieve them at knifepoint of their wallet before exiting the vehicle and sending them on their way, ensure that the location you have had them drive to is not your own apartment. Your victim is quite likely to report the incident to the poilce. The police are quite likely to investigate the address where you were dropped off. It is in your interest not to be at that location when they arrive. There is a guy in Halifax that can attest to this.

Instead, think of having your victim drive to a subway station, train station or other mass transit depot, or at least mass transit-accessible locale. Think of getting dropped off somehwere where you can catch a quick cab to another part of town. It is also a good idea to get the wallet before getting dropped off. Say, for instance, you get dropped off downtown and you need to get back to your parent's house in the burbs. You will look a little silly if you find out that you're victim loves debit and hates cash. But since you already got dropped off, you can't do anything except try another car. This is how the classic crime spree gets started.

One more tip for today, and I can't stress this one enough. If you feel that your best option is to rob a gas station, make sure that you get gas first. You will look ridiculous if you run out of gas three blocks down the road...