Hooray for the Left Coast
If it weren't for B.C., nothing interesting would happen at all...
Not to be outdoen by the Conservative candidate who had broken the law earlier and didn't tell anyone about it, the Liberals now have dumped a candidate for breaking the law during the actual election.
Don't these bozos know anything? The time to break the law is AFTER you've been elected. The time to get caught (if it is has to happen and usually does) is after you've been re-eleceted and sevred six years in the House, thus able to cash in on the MP pension plan.
And, for any of you kids out there thinking of running for office and trying to bribe someone out of the race, make sure the person you're bribing is the candidate who's poised to beat you. There's just no sense in bribing a third- or fourth-placed candidate - they're obviously tanking on their won without any help from your pocketbook. So...now that you've targeted the appropriate candidate, you need to offer him something to tank his own campaign and his own hopes and dreams so that you can realize yours. This is where the pot of money comes in. A government job just isn't enough. If it is, you're adversary lacks ambition and would probably wilt during the election with some well-timed mud-slinging, making the whole bribe scheme unnecessary. So, you've got the pot of money, the size of which depends entirely on the profile, current wealth, and social background of your enemy. If your target is an advertising executive or a Liberal Party Hob-knobber from Quebec, you're work is probably done. Otherwise, there is the problem of morals and conscience. The best move is to make your target give up hope of winning and thus be in a much better frame of mind for your pot of money. How do you do this? Blackmail, of course. And this is where the hooker and the photographs come in. Yes, yes, I know, everything old is new again.
Now, you can either hire a prostitute from one of our nation's many escort services or streetcorners; or, if you are a more cost-conscious dirty-trick artist, you can whore out your own wife/girlfriend/sister/daughter/wayward foster-child/what-have-you. They do most of the work, you take the pictures and then, suddenly, you're now very sad rival is much more agreeable to your offer. Bit of a dirty business, you say? Well, there are many a divorce or personal injury lawyer that can't quite lower themself to run for public office. That's why, once elected, every MP walking into Centre Block is given three items: a bottle of whiskey, a gun with a single bullet and a copy of Joseph Conrad's "Heart Of Darkness".
Not to be outdoen by the Conservative candidate who had broken the law earlier and didn't tell anyone about it, the Liberals now have dumped a candidate for breaking the law during the actual election.
Don't these bozos know anything? The time to break the law is AFTER you've been elected. The time to get caught (if it is has to happen and usually does) is after you've been re-eleceted and sevred six years in the House, thus able to cash in on the MP pension plan.
And, for any of you kids out there thinking of running for office and trying to bribe someone out of the race, make sure the person you're bribing is the candidate who's poised to beat you. There's just no sense in bribing a third- or fourth-placed candidate - they're obviously tanking on their won without any help from your pocketbook. So...now that you've targeted the appropriate candidate, you need to offer him something to tank his own campaign and his own hopes and dreams so that you can realize yours. This is where the pot of money comes in. A government job just isn't enough. If it is, you're adversary lacks ambition and would probably wilt during the election with some well-timed mud-slinging, making the whole bribe scheme unnecessary. So, you've got the pot of money, the size of which depends entirely on the profile, current wealth, and social background of your enemy. If your target is an advertising executive or a Liberal Party Hob-knobber from Quebec, you're work is probably done. Otherwise, there is the problem of morals and conscience. The best move is to make your target give up hope of winning and thus be in a much better frame of mind for your pot of money. How do you do this? Blackmail, of course. And this is where the hooker and the photographs come in. Yes, yes, I know, everything old is new again.
Now, you can either hire a prostitute from one of our nation's many escort services or streetcorners; or, if you are a more cost-conscious dirty-trick artist, you can whore out your own wife/girlfriend/sister/daughter/wayward foster-child/what-have-you. They do most of the work, you take the pictures and then, suddenly, you're now very sad rival is much more agreeable to your offer. Bit of a dirty business, you say? Well, there are many a divorce or personal injury lawyer that can't quite lower themself to run for public office. That's why, once elected, every MP walking into Centre Block is given three items: a bottle of whiskey, a gun with a single bullet and a copy of Joseph Conrad's "Heart Of Darkness".
posted by MyMaidMary | 9:13 p.m.
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