Piracy On the High Seas!

Well, what did I watch this afternoon? Pirates of the Carribean. What was on the news? Pirate attack off the coast of Somalia. So, African pirates in speedboats attempt to board a cruise ship. We're told that the crew of the cruise ship (which outnumber the passengers incidentally) fought off the pirates, but it is not revealed how. Although it was noted that the captain of this fine luxury vessel did try and run over one of the pirate sloops. (Of course, it wasn't really a sloop, more of an overgrown motorboat I suspect.)

So, you're a pirate. And you're from Somalia (we think), where it seems piracy is a growth industry. Who knew? Anyway, you've got a boat or two, presumably a crew or three, and a hankering for some plunder. Sure, why not a cruise ship? Big, full of rich people, good food, lots of men in white, kind of slow (the ship, that is, I wouldn't presume to comment on the men, although it is after Labour Day...). So, you catch the cruise ship. Well, yar, well done laddies and all, but...what then? You're sitting about six feet off the water, and the deck of your target is probably two to three stories above you. And now it's trying to run you over. Better luck next time boys.

However, I appluad their efforts to revive an old trade. No need to toss out everything old just because Uncle Sam wants you to buy an iPod. (Aarrrgh, Luddites will rise again!) So now that piracy is making a comeback, let's bring back habberdashery and village idiocy. Granted, politicians have dominated the market on professional idiocy for quite some time, but I'm talking about bringing it back to the local level. It adds a quaintness, a sense of community (an idiot you can be proud to call your own), and a certain je ne sais I don't know what that you just can't get with a George Bush or an Alfonso Gagliano. Nominations anyone?