Pornification!

A bold new summer game to play. The idea of Pornification is to take the title of a movie, and alter it so as to be the title of a porno flick. So, Good Will Hunting becomes Good Will Humping. Or, if the title doesn't offer much, you can try the actors' names instead. Another option, for the movies with dirty titles already (ie, Driving Miss Daisy), create the porno plot for the movie.
There's no idea too stupid. Remember, somebody did actually make a porno titled Edward Penis-hands.

Here's a list of my own pornified film titles. (Original title first)

The Bridges of Madison County - The Britches Of Madison County
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - Hairy Crotches and the Philosopher's Bone
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - Hairy Crotches and the Gobbling of Tyler
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - Hairy Crotches and the Chambermaid of Sex
Men In Black - Men In Back, Men In Crack
Men In Black 2 - 2 Men In Back
Fun With Dick And Jane - Fun With Dicks In Jane
Gangs of New York - Gang-bangs of New York
Twister - Fister
Leaving Las Vegas - Reaming Her Anus
Grumpy Old Men - Humpy Old Men
The Legend Of Zorro - The Legend of Whore-o
The Joy Luck Club - The Joy Fuck Club
The Dead Pool - The Head Pool
Notting Hill - Naughty Hill
Ferris Beuller's Day Off - Hairy Dueler's Gay-Off
Terms of Endearment - Terms of Endowment
Back To The Future - Crack To The Future
Star Wars - Star Whores
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace - Star Whores: The Fat One In My Ass
Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones - Star Whores: A Rack And Its Clones
Star Wars: The Revenge Of The Sith - Star Whores: The Revenge Of Her Slit
Risky Business - Risky Jizzness
Schindler's List - Schindler's Fist
Wall Street - Ball Street
Brokeback Mountain - Bareback Mountin'
Come Back To The Five And Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean -
Cum On My Back This Time, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean
Erin Brockovitch - Erin Cockabitch
What Dreams May Come - What Creams May Cum
Groundhog Day - Groundhog Lay
Bridge On The River Kwai - Frig On The River Thigh
Baywatch Hawaii - Gaywatch Hawaii
Waterworld - Watersports-world
L.A. Confidential - L.A. Cuntfidential
High Fidelity - My Infidelity
King Kong - King Dong (though I'm sure this must've been done before now...)
The Longest Day - The Longest Lay
Spy Kids - Thigh Kids
The Adventures of Milo & Otis - The Adventures of My Clitoris
The Wizard Of Oz - The Whizzers Of Oz
Being John Malkovich - Banging John Malkovich
Dog Day Afternoon - Doggy-Lay Afternoon
Field Of Dreams - Field Of Creams
Jurassic Park - Jurassic Prick (again, I'm sure it's been done)
Jurassic Park II: The Lost World - Jurassic Prick II: The Last Whirl
Starship Troopers - Starship Poopers
Throw Momma From The Train - Do Momma On The Train
Desperately Seeking Susan - Desperately Sucking Susan
Last Action Hero - Lust Action Hero
Risky Business - Frisky Business
Scary Movie - Hairy Movie
Uncle Buck - Uncle Fuck
Splendor In The Grass - Splendor In Her Ass
An American In Paris - An American In Paris Hilton
Mulholland Falls - Mulholland Balls
The Craft - The Shaft
Patch Adams - Snatch Adams
Immortal Beloved - Immoral Beloved
Boyz In The Hood - Boyz Under Her Hood
Born On The Fourth Of July - Porn Cumming Forth On Her Eye
Ben Hur - Ben Hurt (Afterwards)
A Family Thing - A Family Fling
The DaVinci Code - The DaVinci Load

Feel free to comment and add your own. For the next time the Golden Globes or the Oscars come around, I'll try and do all the movies and all the stars.

"Now, I Think I Fear Him More..."

Thus was the quote of a New Jersey housewife in regards to a neighbourhood cat. Jack, it seems, is a little territorial. He likes to chase small animals out of the yard. It appears he also likes to torment a Labrador retriever now and then. Yet, like many cats, Jack's sense of territory is his own making and doesn't respect or reflect current property division lines of the humans in the neighbourhood.

But, why would this housewife "fear" this neighbourhood cat? Jack's an orange tabby with white paws, who weighs in at around 15 pounds, and is declawed.

It probably has something to do with the black bear that Jack chased up a tree. Twice. That's right. Jack. The cat. The declawed cat. A black bear. Up a tree. Twice. Not the cat up the tree. Cat on the ground, bear up the tree. Get the picture? Here's the picture:


The bear was up in the tree for about fifteen minutes before venturing down, where it was then cahsed by Jack and up another tree. Jack's owner then took pity on the bear and called Jack home. Jack was apparently quite pleased with himself, and rubbed up against everyone's legs as he sauntered home. Jack rocks that city block!

And my fierce little kitty? Still scared of Gerald and that crazy hopping thing that he does...