Disturbing Science

There's a lot of sick, strange people out there. Many of them turn to science for a career. Why this is nobody knows. They haven't gotten around to studying that yet. For a look at what they have studied, check out the Ig Nobel Prizes. (www.improb.com/ig/ig-pastwinners.html)

Some notables:

2005 Prize for Medecine: for inventing artificial replacement testicles for dogs.
2004 Prize for Medecine: for a report titled "The Effect of Country Music On Suicide".
2003 Prize for Biology: for documenting the first recorded case of homosexual necrophelia in the mallard duck. (This is perhaps one of the more disturbing scientific articles I have ever seen. And I'm not sure which creature is more disturbing - the duck that did it or the scientist that watched...)
2002 Prize for Chemistry: for gathering many elements of the periodic table and assembling them into a four-legged periodic table table.
2001 Prize for Technology: awarded both to an Australian for patenting in the year 2001 a "circular transportation facilitation device", and to the Australian patent office for issuing an innovation patent for the wheel.
2000 Prize for Physics: for using magnets to levitate a frog.
1999 Prize for Literature: to the British Standards Institution for a six-page specification on the proper way to make a cup of tea.

Where does it go from here? Do you have a valuable contribution to make to the world of scientific knowledge? Know of a quesiton that keeps getting overlooked by reputable scientists? Well, let me know what it is, and we'll find a quack willing to give it a go.

Cat and Tonic

So now I have a cat. It has moved in from the parking lot into my little condo. It had been abandoned by people who moved. Last week-end it decided it liked me. Thursday, it decided it wanted to live with me, at least for a trial period.

It quickly discovered that my place offers kibble, milk, cream, laps, hands, and a big, soft chair with a matching couch no less. I don't think the cat is going to be going anywhere.

















It is just a little cat, but that won't last. Cats in my family have a way of expanding. I expect this cat will be no different. Her name is Boo. (I realize Boo Radley was not a girl, but it is a black cat, and the world doesn't need another pet named Scout...)

The presence of the cat is being celebrated with gin and tonics. So far, the cat has not indulged. However, it did show an interest in a bottle of beer last night... I, on the other hand, am getting along with the gin famously.

I Am A King...

Well, now I've done it. I've created my own country. I, of course, am its King. Technically speaking, it is a democracy. As long as they democratically decide to do things my way. So far, so good. It even has a flag:

Somebody even published some info on it:

"The Kingdom of North Duckland is a small, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape. Its compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 7 million have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government is mainly concerned with Social Welfare, although Healthcare and Education are on the agenda. The average income tax rate is 27%. A large private sector is led by the Gambling, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Woodchip Exports industries.

Voting is voluntary. Crime is relatively low. North Duckland's national animal is the duck and its currency is the bill."

The description I think is fairly accurate, though perhaps a little unforgiving where the landscape is concerned, but who am I to quibble. Not quite sure how someone managed to sneak in freedom of the press there, I certainly don't remember giving that out!

So, you want to know where this country is? Sorry, that information is classified. If you had diplomatic credentials of some kind, or NATO clearance over Level 2, then we might be able to talk. Although the landscape bit is a hint. And the flag is a dead giveaway. What? You're not up on your vexillology? Well, there's something to keep you busy for a while. First, get a dictionary...