Ode to Feet

A man, perhaps a strange man, we don't know for sure, is now re-united wiht his foot. Apparantly, police had seized a foot from a front porch. the ffot was found in a bucket of formaldehyde. It was eventually returned to its owner. This was the second time his foot had been removed - the first time was during surgery. I don't have the exact quote from the owner, so here is a paraphrase:

"I'm not crazy, or sick or anything. I just wanted my foot back, you know?"

So, how far would you go to retrieve a body part? And, if successful, what would you do with it?
Would you write a poem about it. The hero of this story did not seem the literary type, so I will have to ghost-write his poem for him. Just keep in mind that my specialty is playwriting, not poetry.

My Foot

How can something so low
Fill me with such a glow?
How can something with that peculiar smell
Seduce me with its magic spell?
Feet, Feet, fleshy and neat
If I had twelve of them
I'd have something to eat.

Something That Needs To Be Said

YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes grandiloquence is not the best strategy.